Danielle is a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a housekeeper, a cook, an occasional consultant, a wannabe interior designer and general lover of life. She loves her husband Eddie and together, they are excited about launching The Parish and being obedient to God’s direction.
If I am being completely honest with everyone, I was technically supposed to write yesterday’s devotional. I didn’t read, didn’t have time to and didn’t really want to. In preparing to write today’s devotional, I found myself incredibly underwhelmed and uninspired, lacking yet again. Continuing with the honesty here; planting a church, having a baby, buying Christmas Gifts and attempting to stay sane seem to have zapped me of any remaining humanity.
So, sitting on my couch with my two and three year old racing cars and between Toy Story and Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas, I stole a few moments to read and reflect. While reflecting and catching up on the week’s readings and devotionals, I still found myself completely stumped. I’m not sure how to tie a bow on the Daily Office Readings today. But in the midst of the confusion, I kept being drawn to the noon time prayer: Heavenly Father, send your Holy Spirit into our hearts, to direct and rule us according to your will, to comfort us in all our afflictions, to defend us from all error, and to lead us into all truth; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
I was reminded of Brendan’s devotional from Monday describing the dichotomy that exists between the desperation and anxiety of broken people and the faithfulness of an unfailing God. I was also reminded of Beth’s gratefulness for a still heart. It’s then that I realized what I need the most is the Holy Spirit moving and directing me.
Staying on trend with the honesty idea, the idea of Collects, Canticles and Lectionary readings is not something that is appealing to me nor has it ever been. My relationship with God is not one that centers around disciplines and intellectual studies or theology. I’ve always been drawn to the mystery that is our salvation – the Trinity, a Virgin Birth, God made Man, Grace and Truth, Victory over death. All that being said, taking these few moments has reminded me that the Holy Spirit is what I have been missing. Between the lists, gift buying, mailers, web updates and meetings I have missed it all. I designed the Advent Guide and yet this is the first time I’ve actually read it.
During this season, I love telling my children the Christmas story and how Jesus came into the world. When they are old enough, I can’t wait to see them understand that He is making it new as we speak and will one day fix all that is broken when He returns. Yet, somehow the busyness of this life, particularly this season, has zapped the human parts of me and I have completely forgotten about those things.
Today, I’m praying for a deep sense of the Holy Spirit’s presence. I need Him to direct and rule my life according to His will. I need His comfort and defense. I need the same kind of belief and wonder that I see in my children’s eyes as we read the Christmas story. That still, small voice is what I need to carry me through this day in peace.